02 April 2021 Posted By : Alyssa Kiefer

20 Ways to Increase Your Pleasure in ‘Cowgirl’ Position

What do the Hitachi Magic Wand, Miley Cyrus, and the “cowgirl” sex position have in common? Well, in addition to being major sex symbols, they’ve also all undergone major rebrands.

That’s right, the famous receiver-on-top sex position recently went through a rebrand. Why? Because its former name (the cowgirl) was annoyingly gendered. Girls, after all, aren’t the only people who can enjoy this position — anyone can!

These days the position is better known as:

  • rider
  • rider on top
  • cowhuman
  • cowperson
  • person on top

No matter what you call it, though, the below tips will make the position even more pleasurable.

We believe pleasure is a fundamental aspect of a safe and healthy sex life. That’s why we rely on experienced writers, educators, and other experts to share their suggestions on everything from the technique you use to the sex toy you buy.

We only recommend something that we genuinely love, so if you see a shop link to a specific product or brand, know that it’s been thoroughly researched — if you know what we mean. Wink.

Let’s start with the basics: How do you do standard rider on top?

Any configuration that positions the receiver on top can qualify as rider on top.

Usually, that means on top and receiving vaginal or anal penetration.

But someone may also get into the rider position to receive pleasure by way of their partner’s hand or a sex toy (or three!).

Someone may even get into this position to receive oral sex in a sort of fusion of face sitting or reverse face sitting and rider on top. Yee-haw.

“The standard rider-on-top position has the penetrator laying on their back, and the receiver straddling their hips,” says clinical sexologist Megan Stubbs, EdD, author of the forthcoming book “Playing Without a Partner: A Single’s Guide to Sex, Dating, and Happiness.”

But this is customizable.

The penetrator can also be seated in a chair, couch, or similar seat, or in a crab-like position. And there are many, many, many options for the receiver.

Are there any general tips?

The number one tip: Do what feels good to you and your boo! But, yes, there are other tips, too.

Play around with the angle of your hips

If you remember anything from this article, make it this: Angle is everythingggg!

“The angle of your pelvis is going to be what dictates how deep the penis or dildo goes, as well as what internal hot spots (if any) it stimulates during penetration,” explains Stubbs.

If your pelvis is tilted towards your partner’s face, they’re more likely to get deep and stimulate your cervix and A-spot, she says.

If your pelvis is tilted away from your partner’s face, they’re more likely to stimulate your G-spot.

Give reverse rider on top a whirl

Cue Missy Elliot’s “Work It” because this tip entails reversing it.

Reverse rider still puts the penetrator on their back, but turns you around so your back is facing your partner.

“Reverse rider gives them a new view, automatically alters the angle, and can be helpful if you’re going for anal,” says sex educator Searah Deysach, owner of Early to Bed, a pleasure product company in Chicago that ships worldwide.

Use lube

Lube is the difference between friction (read: pain) during penetration and pleasure, says Deysach. So lather up, baby!

Pad your knees

Rider on top can be tough on the receiver’s knees. If your knees start to hurt, pad them with pillows.

You can also try squatting over your partner instead of kneeling over them, says Deysach.

“Or, you can move to a narrow chair so the person on top can stand on the floor,” she says. “Or, you could find a big comfy chair and sit on your partner’s lap.”

Be willing to experiment

“Remember that there is no one size fits all solution here, and what felt good with your last partner may not feel good with your next one,” says Deysach.

“There are a lot of factors that can affect how rider on tops feels, and it can take some trial and error to find the right fit,” she says.

How can you modify the move to account for a height difference?

Most standing sex positions require that you — or at the very least, your genitals — are about the same height.

But the classic rider position — which entails the penetrator on their back and the receiver straddling their hips — does not!

On the contrary, it’s a great option for people of different heights, explains Deysach.

How can you modify to account for a body size difference? 

“If you and your lover are different sizes, no worries! You have lots of options for enjoying the position,” says Deysach.

If the receiver is bigger…

Chairs can be helpful if you’re concerned about putting too much body weight on your partner, says Deysach. “They allow you to use your legs to carry some weight, too.”

There’s another kind of chair that can be helpful: A sex chair, which is a plastic stool that features elastic straps (check out the Bouncing Mount Stool).

To use it, you’ll place the stool legs on either side of the penetrator’s hips, and have the rider climb aboard. The straps will help support the rider’s weight, while also helping them bounce up and down on their partner. Wee!

If the penetrator is bigger…

Try reverse rider, which allows the receiving partner to lean forward as much as they want, without their partner being in the way.

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